An account of the adventures of the wild creatures of the Ross household. Namely: James (Daddy), Becky (Mommy), James III (10), Teagan (9), John Ireson (6), and Jair (1). We've learned through fifteen years of marriage and four kids that life can be much like a safari: a wild and fun encounter with many beasts along the way! So tread carefully as you read- 'cause it's a jungle in here!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Foul Play
Then I hear the skeptical inquiry from the eldest: "Did you get your diaper changed?!"
Ireson replied: "YES! Mommy just changed me so I not stink anymore! Now let me in-Pleeeeaaase!"
James opened the door and said, "Welcome, Sir. Come on in but ONLY if you're SURE that you don't stink anymore."
Ireson: "No I not. See- smell my butt."
I asked James about the course of events that had just played out. Apparently, they told him that he was not allowed in to play with them until he went and had his poopey diaper changed. Teagan informed me that "He smelled sooo bad, Mom, and we couldn't handle being around him." James concurred, "Yeah, Mom- it was hard to even breath!"
The truth to the matter is that they were right! No excuse for the banishment of the little brother yet I was just telling Ireson the same things moments ago when the not so honorable diaper changing occurred.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Animal Antics
Our family weekend movie nights typically consist of an animal show of some sort. And when we're fortunate enough to catch a Nature show on PBS, he's quick to inquire if "David Attenborough is going to be the narrator."
He knows the entire Planet Earth series by memory and will even go as far as to mimic David Attenborough's vocal inflections when he relays to you what he's learned!
I especially love that he watches them through a biblical lens, using God's eyes and God's ears. When evolutionary philosophies are mentioned in some of it's segments, he is quick to point out, "Oh, Mom, that's not right! He needs to read his Bible. What? That's crazy talk."... etc., etc. He will make many similar comments as he watches them by himself as though he and David are holding a private conversation. Apparently, they are on a first name basis.
Here are a couple of the more comical comments I heard from him just last week as he was watching Planet Earth.
*Humpback whales mating- "MOM! Did you know that humpback whales have a 12 foot long penis?!!!!!! That's crazy! I'd need new pants if my penis was that long!"
New pants indeed. This fact is quite impressive to observe in action on the video mind you.
*Ant Eaters - "Mom! Did you know that certain Ant Eaters have a tale that can hold their entire body weight?! I need to get a tail. I'd be sooo good at climbing trees!"
Intelligence Inquiry
Friday, October 23, 2009
Favortism - Humph.
As the festivities calmed down I declared, "Alright, I'm going down stairs. Who's coming with me?"
Ireson jumped up and then off the bed onto me and excitedly hollered, "I'm going wiff you!"
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Bear Poison
The conversation that followed has stuck with us... much like the smell of a skunk after it's aroma has infested your car.
"Wow, Ireson, you stink!" "Holy cow kid!" "Get him outta here!"- were the numerous comments from the on-smellers.
Ireson just smiled and laughed as he passed by Grandpa to get to his Dad.
Grandpa: "Geesh Ireson. You could kill rats with that smell!"
Ireson, rather proudly replied with a giggle: "Yeah!...rats....and bears too!"
Always the comedian. A true Stinkerson.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Flight School
No Broken Bones, memories made = Priceless!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Becky Rice Rosskins
The Puppets with a Heart put on a show throughout all of the musical performance and it was an all out fabulous blast! The kids were enthralled the entire time. Laughing and giggling filled the sanctuary! The puppets were named Gringo and OH-NO. They were brothers who, like all kids, go through different troubles in their young lives. The puppet characters each have a removable heart that contains an object that is used as a visual aid for that particular part of the show. Mary would take them out to see what's inside and then she would talk about it and replace the bad stuff with something good and a verse from God's Word. Wonderful object lessons that really stick with the kids.
I got to meet one of my favorite children's praise musicians and the kids got to meet the lady who gave them all their favorite songs (The Hippopotamus Song, Superman, God Did, Matilda the Gorilla, Splish Splash, etc.)
My kids know almost all her songs and the accompanying hand motions. So when Mary came down into the audience and saw Teagan's enthusiasm, dancing and hand motions, she came over and sang with her and turned towards me so I could to take their picture together. It was Teagan's first meeting with a celebrity! I think I was more excited than Teagan.
I looked around and Laura and I were two of only a few people who seemed to know all the songs and were doing everything and looking like we should have been part of the show. She and I have been told that we should take a show on the road. This was even more incentive.
It took everything in me not to jump up in the middle of the aisle and start doing all the hand motions and teaching the audience and getting them fired up with dancing and moving. It's what I do!
James' review: "I loved the puppets. Gringo and OH-NO were the best."
Teagan's Review: "The fun part for me was when she sang the songs with me. I learned that God can heal your heart if it has band aids on it."
After the concert, we went up to meet her and got our pictures taken. I told her that she needed to include this Mary Poppins joke I made up during a part of her concert when she pulled this large (obviously expandable shovel out of a very small bag). She cracked up, wrote down my joke, asked me my name so she could give me credit at her next concert. THEN she told me that if I come up with anymore good jokes that I should email her. I also told her that it was all I could do not to jump up and help her out with the motions, etc. For her, it was more of a solo show this time. Usually, she has a back up singer or other players or something. She has a nephew that lives in Lagrange, so I think she was doing a concert as part of her visit. She said, next time I should just get up and join the show.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Grocery Store Blues
Today, I figured we'd go in the morning to our grocery store and do our Math and some reading and spelling while we were there. James was walking around looking at prices and I had him tell me how many of each value there were on some price tags.
$7.99 - "That's 9 units, 9 tens, and 7 one-hundreds. Or 799 pennies. Whoa- that's a lot of pennies!! Or seven ninety-nine. Seven dollars and 99 cents." He'd rant and chant several of these and so on. He would get excited when he'd see a giant sign and run up to it and practically yell what the number was and what it meant. I rather enjoyed the people's stares and smiles at his enthusiasm. I had to tell him to simmer down a couple of times.
As we walked around, all the kids would say "hi" to passers-by, in their happy and squeaky little voices. Ireson would yell if he saw a baby. "Go see it Mom!"- He'd request.
Teagan and James would both read some words as we passed them or I'd give them something to put in the cart and they'd have to read it first. We also played the guessing/spelling game with some of the things on our list.
For example-"I'm an spicy dip that we eat with chips-what am I?"
"Salsa!"
"I'm white and I come from cows." Milk!"-they'd say and then they'd have to spell it. Fun, educational and intellectually occupying all at the same time. Who knew that the grocery store could qualify as a field trip?!
James and Teagan do this funny walking thing to entertain Ireson too. Sometimes, they'll walk while he rides, and strut their goofy stuff up and down the aisles and have him laughing his head off! I mean- the belly laugh that makes you think he might throw up if he doesn't get a break. They look like total goofballs as they come up with these hysterical dances and Ireson loves it! They could take their show on the road. Perhaps I should hire them out for other parents so they can entertain their kids too!
We got to the check out and I got in line that was over by the babysitting room. It has 3 giant windows. As I checked out I let the kids go and look through the windows and see what's happening. They stand there and look on in awe- much like observing animals in the zoo. I'm not kidding. They find it fascinating. The 3 of them stood there waving, and smiling and watching the 4 kids behind the glass. I saw another cashier walk over to the the lady that manages the joint and talk to her. She immediately got on the overhead intercom and made an announcement.
She said, and I sadly quote, "Attention customers, the Eagle's Nest [Babysitting room] can be a fun, interactive, and an educational place for your children -ages 3-9 years old. Please stop by today!"
I sighed in grieve disappointment. I sighed as I looked at the 4 TVs lining the wall with video games on waiting to lure in their next victim (3 were already occupied). I sighed as I looked at the big screen TV in the opposite corner playing a Disney movie that I find inappropriate for young children. I sighed because I didn't see a single book in that huge room! Not one! I sighed because of what our society has labelled as "fun and educational". Granted there was a train table, a kitchen area, and some great baby dolls and toys. But not one of them were being utilized by small fingers.
Thank you Lord that my kids don't ask to go in there. Thank you Lord that they had a truly "fun and educational" time with their mother and siblings interacting in a positive and responsible way learning life lessons. Thank you for the time we spent together laughing and enjoying each other's company. Now home for some more "real life" education.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Mr. Ross
The Good Book
Today, about 45 minutes after I put the kids to bed for naps, I heard Teagan singing and I went to her room annoyed and ready to discipline her when I caught her reading in bed. As I was geared up and ready to discipline her for her blatant civil disobedience, I noticed that she was reading her Bible.
She looked at me with droopy, tired eyes and said: "I'm reading and singing my Bible to God like you Mommy."
Sheesh...way to make a mother's heart melt right?!
I gave her 5 more minutes for her to finish her biblical obedience and time with God and then she really needed to go to sleep.
I love these moments that reassure me that at least I'm doing something right!
Aspirations
Anyhoo, yesterday evening, she went #2. When the task was complete she ran out of the bathroom all excited and proud and ran up to me yelling, "Mom, I went poop and I wiped my own butt! Aren' t you proud of me?!"
"Good job Teagan. How did it go? Do I need to check?" I asked.
She informed me, "No, it was awesome!"
"Awesome huh?" I chuckled.
Teagan: "Yeah, I'm the Awesome-est Butt Wiper Ever!"
Monday, September 14, 2009
Real Men
Anyhow, as he wanted to go "all out", he mustered up a bunch of gusto and threw the football at me with manly force. Due to the testosteronian gumption that he used, he fell forward and landed with his front leg out almost into the splits, arm stretched and flexed forward, and he held this Trojan-like stance until he could see how and where the ball landed. He looked like one of those "still photo shots" of a Quarter-back after an awesome pass. Yes, he too could have his own Calendar.
I caught the ball as I laughed at his pose. He responded to me very coach-like, as though I shouldn't be surprised at how he looked.
"Well, sometimes that's what real men HAVE to do, Mom."
To Know True Love is to "B" Loved
In the Ross household we call "blankies"- "B's." I guess it's our abbreviation for blanket. I've heard relatives call their security blankets this as well and I think it simply has stuck with me. I used to call my security blanket a "blanket." You see, my creative skills were evident even then...and yes, I still have it!
With each child, I'd purchase a pack of the all cotton, thick white cloth diapers. For James, I left them white, and for Teagan I dyed them pink, and Ireson's are blue. I figured with multiple duplicates of the security blanket- it makes losing and replacing them easier and not so traumatic! I have emotional scars from my childhood from losing my precious blankets! Each child has called them their "B's" and has used them since birth to fall asleep with and as a comfort measure. Ireson simply cannot go to sleep without his "B". We even have back-ups at Gramma's and Aunt Sarah's.
Well, the definition of a "B" has taken on additional meaning in our house.
Definition of a "B" according to Ireson.com: a blankie, a cloth diaper dyed blue to distinguish it from sibling's same style of "B", used for soothing or comforting a child in their youth, a must, a necessity for life, an absolute entity to general happiness, a hypnotic device used to lure oneself to sleep, used to adorn "'B -love" onto loved ones, and used for prodding and poking one's own ears and nostrils?!
When he could sit on his own, and had the hand control and the dexterity to accompany it- Ireson would take a corner of his "B" and tickle himself in his ears or stroke it back and forth under his nose. I'm talking about the kind of tickling that would feel like a bug flying around in your ear of a feather being stuck up your nose! For the average man, you could relate it to a modernized form of Chinese torture!
If you went up to him and asked him if you "could have some 'B' love?"- he'd share the same adoring and loving technique with you too- if you were so privileged!
His fondness and techniques for his "B" have progressed in the past 2 1/2 years since this new found skill erupted. He now prefers his "B's" to have a string (no longer than 1/2 inch), or a rip at the corner with a small tassel or such, to accentuate the tickling and effectiveness of self-donned "B" love. Thanks to Aunt Susie, he has also perfected the art of "face painting" with the tassel serving as the pretend paint brush head. He will trace over your features or pretend to draw whiskers or something on you as you lay there, the two of you, drifting off to sleep. Or, in my case, grin and cringe and bear it, until cuddle time is over and you can escape.
He has 7-8 "B's" to choose from and I keep 5-6 of them in the cupboard of his dresser. Three, however, are only worthy to be slept with since they posses the proper attributes for his security-companion sleeping. Sometimes though, I will check on him during his nap and he will have gotten them all out of the cupboard and I will find him sleeping on a mountain of B's.
Today I was cuddling with him before nap, and he was asking to "B" love me because he knows that this drives me crazy! He started to peruse his current "3-B" collection on his bed to decipher which one would administer the best method of torture to his loving and all too tolerant mother. The "B's" on his bed just wouldn't do so he started whining for me to "get the other ones, Mom!" So I grabbed the pile out of the cupboard and he carefully examined and sorted his B's until he found the proper one. To his surprise, he found 3 B's that were so blessed to carry the rare quality! I put the others back in the cupboard and laid down with them. With a B in each hand and a "this is the life" look on his face, he laid down and B-loved me. It only lasted a minute after I tackled him and tickled him and encouraged him to move on to B-loving himself. So he did and I looked on from the side-lines of the sport with a smile.
"Look Mom, two B's! Two B's for two ears!" (Simultaneously, inserting tickling strings into both ears here).
giggles and giggles....and then
"Two B's for two noses, Mom!" (Simultaneously, inserting tickling strings into both nostrils here with nary a snort or wiggle).
Notice the corner of the "B" by his thumb- it has the string. He had just hypnotized himself to sleep before I took this picture by stroking his left ear.
Friday, September 11, 2009
The Toothless Troll
An adored book from our childhood is one from the Mole and Troll series. In our favorite book it discussed the many methods that Mole and Troll used to take out a loose tooth. My sister Sarah so graciously read this story to James a couple of weeks ago when we were over there. James has asked for her to read it every time since.
We've been waiting for his stubborn tooth to fall out for over a month! This was his first loose tooth so we've been enjoying discussing using one of the methods that Mole and Troll used such as tying it to a door knob and slamming the door. Grandpa has offered to use a hammer as well.
Considering he didn't get his first baby tooth until he was 12 months old- I'd say it was right on time. The longer they keep them the better is what the professionals say!
His adult tooth has been coming in with a vengeance and pushing up behind the baby one all crooked and far back. So- the other day Daddy decided to take matters into his own hands. This tooth was coming out one way or the other if it took all night.
Lil' James was fine with this option because he couldn't wait for Mommy or Daddy tooth fairy to sneak into his room and give him his special gift. So, Daddy and Little James locked themselves in the kids bathroom for over a half an hour! James put ora-jel on Lil' James' gums and rubbed it for a while. With much nimble a finger and patience, the ingenious husband of mine wrapped floss around the tooth and jiggled it and wriggled it and finally pulled that sucker out! There was a good bit of blood indicating to me that it wasn't quite ready- but oh well...or should I say fair well?
Lil' James proudly approached me with a rather proud grin across his one less toothed face and told me that they "Did it...but can you have Daddy sneak into my room?!" I guess since I didn't have a hand in the matter that my sneaky expertise wasn't needed. He was sort of disappointed that he didn't talk funny. He also tried whistling and that too was the same old same old.
The movie Milo and Otis was the prized reward for accomplishing this rite of passage. James being an animal lover extremist was quite thrilled.
As I wrote this he came in and asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was writing about him losing his tooth. "Oh...well can you write that I took it like a man?" he asked.
Boy vs. Wild
Monday, September 07, 2009
Events Full
East Coast Report: James went to Norfolk, VA to help put the roof on Esther Giordano's in-law suite at Mark Giordano's house. He left Thursday morning and came back Monday night. My only requests were that he drive down safely and he comes home with his Indian tan in tow! I think it was a reasonable request for a girl! I called him on Friday and asked at what point he had taken his shirt off and how his tan was coming. :) My cousin and Uncle also went to help. They got about half of it completed before the torrential downpour arrived on Monday and they headed home. Not only did he come back with a bit more of a tan- he brought three whole days of facial scruff too! Of course, he will invoke his modesty and shave it all off before he goes to see anyone this week. He did have to renew his license on Tuesday and he kept it for the ID picture...so I have it documented!!! Ahhh....such thoughtfulness and adoration:) He took off Tuesday to stay at home and work on his talk for Sunday and play with the family.
Midwest Report: Teagan went with Grandma, Aunt Lydia, and cousin Sadie to Rockford, IL to stay at the Johnson's and have special Sherry, Grammy and Sadie time. On the way they stopped at our usual Cracker Barrel site and bought her brothers a special toy from her "oh so special" trip. They arrived Friday night around 11pm our time and woke up, on average, at 5am every day. Sadie and Tea had especially fun girl cousin time, goofing around and annoying Lydia during the car ride, eating Swedish pancakes, painting toe nails, playing with a new found treasure of toys at Grandma Sherry's house, playing with dear friends from Bible School, watching girly girl movies, reading with Grandma Sherry for hours on end, going to the Apple Orchard, oh and the endless whining. She finally got some sleep in the car- as uncomfortable as it may appear.


International Report: Meanwhile, my Dad was in Jamaica for the 30-something time experiencing serious intestinal distress at multiple airports, Jamaican shacks, and other run-down and nasty venues that weren't equipped with, shall we say- sanitary and suitable facilities. No more detail is allowed at this time as this is a rated G blog. Moving on...
Local Report: Lil' James, Ireson and I decided to go to Sarah's house over in Wickliffe for the duration. Before the weekend was through we were able to have some quality time with Deanna, Cindy, Devone and kids, and Aunt Sue came over on Sunday evening after Sarah, Devo, and I went to the movies! All I have to say about that is "Go Joe! ...and red-heads rock!"
James spent much of his time climbing Sarah's tree, taking the dogs out, catching bugs to feed the Venus Fly Trap, watering flowers and making a mud slide down her back slope, checking out the new neighborhood Dollar store, finding caterpillars, watching giant spiders spin webs and eat their prey, and watching Animal Planet- the highlight of the weekend! We made 2 batches of Rice Krispie treats, ate cookies and had 2 or maybe it was 3 Marguerita nights! I think I gained 2 pounds. I think being so sugar/preservative/processed deprived in normal life led us to be ravenous junk food beasts for our special weekend. After all, we were on vacation too!
Now back to reality....bleh.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Fishers of Men
Happy Birthday to Tea!
Teagan turned 5 years old this past August 21st. Since 5 is a big # and all- it seemed appropriate to throw a birthday bash. This, however, proved interesting when we were still in the planning stages. Either my Mom, my Sister in Law and her kids or good friends were all going to be out of town at one point or another and all at different times. So it was a matter of figuring out when we could celebrate and with whom and where.Teagan had made Thank you cards to give to everyone for all of her gifts. The original intent was to hand them out to everyone with a heart felt "thank you" after she opened their gift. However, Teagan's excitement wasn't to be contained. As soon as the guests walked through the door Teagan ran up to them, card in hand, and said "Thank you for coming", endowing many of them with a hug! It was very sweet and I was very proud of her sincerity and thoughtfulness.
So, I have a five year old Sweet Teagan Betty. Spunky, cantankerous, sweet, tender, and an ever growing Child of God.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Whiner Whiner- go away...come again another day.
You couldn't have gotten more drenched if you fell in. Teagan and Ireson were in the boat with James and I. Ireson is such the pleasant little passenger. Granted he snacked on banana bread and pretzels and other such delights for the 1st 3/4 of the ride but barely a peep emerged from his frigid and at one point blue little lips....
And then there was Teagan...
Two years ago when we went canoeing, she was 1 week shy of turning 3. She had a grand old time. The weather was quite accommodating that year, but she still tempered the rocking boat and buggy terrain rather well! She had a swell time!
This year- not so much.
Mile 1: "MOM! Don't put the paddle down, get rowing!" - She wanted it to end before we even started.
Mile 2: "Why are you stopping Mom? Don't just sit there- get rowing!" - Last year we'd just sit and enjoy the scenery and chat amongst our fellow boaters. This year you kind of wanted to bypass the chit chat because of the rain and cold. Yet, even if I wanted to get a drink of water- I'd get scorned.
Mile 3: "The wind is making me cold, the rain is making me cold, and YOU are making me cold MOM!" It was pretty stinking cold for at least the last 4 miles or so. The kids were so soaked from just sitting there.
Mile 4: "Come on Mom, let's get there already- row!"
Every time we'd bump someone or rock the boat to adjust your numbing behind, she'd start crying and panicking. I am not raising a wimp! Not even the snacks, bug net, umbrella or hat could appease her!
Mile 5,6,7: At the start, Lil' James went in a boat with my cousin Jen and a friend from Ann Arbor. He was quite the little paddling trouper. There was one point where Jen, the wonderful selfless person that she is, sacrificed herself and fell/tripped/jumped/flipped into the water to save the boat and other passengers from tipping. Lil' James got kind of freaked out there for a minute, as did I watching my son almost get dumped into the water, but he soon recovered with nothing more than a banged up shin and a hard reality check. His butt remained on the floor of the boat for the remaining mile. This of course did not help Teagan's mentality regarding the joys of canoeing. She witnessed the mild nightmare and exclaimed under tears and duress "My brother, my brother!!!" So we hung out ahead after we caught there paddle down stream to make sure all was well and assure Teagan that her dear brother was much more the man than she and that he was fine.
Dockage: We finally docked and went to the car to change our sopping clothes and then headed to the picnic area where we ate like kings.
Teagan informed me later, after hanging out around the camp fire and enjoying the assortment of chocolate desserts, that she "loves this place!...but not the boat part so much" and that she was "glad to have a Mom like me even though you [I] get mad sometimes."
After about the 3rd tirade of demands in the boat, I told Teagan that I was thrilled that she was in the boat because all I could do was laugh at her sweet pathetic-ness.
Her father and I shared many a chuckle that day at the poor, cold, wet, tired, and pathetic child. Though we usually don't tolerate whining and complaining- we made an allowance this time around.
She indeed made this adventure more memorable because of it!
Check back for pics in a week or so. I'm waiting for my cousin to upload them to FB.
