3 roses for 3 kids. So what does 6 roses mean? Ahhhhh!

So James got home yesterday and was working on the van trying to get the battery charged, with little luck for the first half hour. I was getting nervous that we would have to fold the entire evening's plans. Lil' James is telling me that I'm not allowed to go out there in the garage because I'm not allowed to "see." Finally, James got the van going and he came in to get ready whilst trying to level the temper fumes brewing in his brain. Meanwhile, we're running almost a 1/2 hour late!
All of a sudden I see Ireson toddling over to me yelling "fowers, fowers, fowers!" He handed me 3 roses. I forgot that I had those coming!
Let me explain...Ever since we started having kids, James gets me a rose for each kid for Valentine's Day. I hadn't gotten flowers from him since we were dating and it was almost 6 years into our marriage before we had our first child. So, getting flowers (even one) can be a big deal if I choose to let it! So when we had Lil' James I got one rose, the next year we had Teagan and I got two roses, and so on. Finally, I'm up to three roses now! Well, the first year when we had Lil' James, my husband so elegantly explained to me that if I ever want to get a dozen roses again then "you know what you have to do."- But not in those exact words..funnier, somewhat cruder...but not appropriate to post:)

I have to re-explain this concept to the kids every year. This year, Teagan figures since there is one "for each of my kids" then she should get to have one for herself. "Back off Chucky," was my only response. Hey- I got flowers and I'm gonna save them and dry them like the rest! I at least let her smell them.

So the next day, Valentine's day morning, we went down stairs and there were 3 more roses on the counter! Wait a minute!!! What does this mean?! Have the rules changed?! Is there something I don't know about?! Even if I included the dog as my 4th kid I'd only be up to 4 roses!
Teagan immediately assumes "it's a miracle. God brought them down here- so now I can have one!" Luckily, I was able to appease her with heart balloons from last night's dinner. James, the logical one, says that "someone must have put them there because they could not have grown there overnight Teagan! Use your head!" Ireson, the repeater, exclaims in a somewhat confused state, "God! Here! One! Night!"
I just figured that the florist was only selling roses by the dozen or half a dozen so James had no choice but to bring home 6. So I ask the kids what they think this means if there are only 3 kids and 6 roses now. Lil' James deduces, very matter-of-fact: "Well Mom, you better start having more kids, 'cause you're getting old."

I'll get to the bottom of this eventually.

A day like today...

Today I made special pink Valentine's Day pancakes (made with cherry juice) and cut them into hearts with a cookie cutter. It was a big hit with the kids and they were thoroughly enjoyed by all...including me and my not usually so creative or caring about V-day self!



Summoned to a mother's mundane duty of the wiping of Teagan's booty: "MOM!!! I'm done! It stinks in here and you're just gonna have to deal!" and after said booty call - "Thanks Mom, I appreciate it." - She's been saying that on and off for some time now and it just never gets old for me. - The appreciation bit- not the butt wiping:) Some of you are probably thinking that it's ridiculous that a 4 1/2 year old can't wipe her own butt. I agree- however, my Tea is short appendage challenged, like her mother, and she simply can't reach. We've tried teaching different techniques to help but it just isn't happening....maybe when she's 12?



Teagan and James had to agree on a short spiritual video to watch today before naps.. This usually poses an interesting, yet often confrontational situation between the 2 of them including bribing, flattery, bartering, and the whole nine yards till they get their own way. So finally Teagan pulled one out and boisterously said: "Mom, this one will be popular with both of us! What do you think James?"



All the kids got their own piece of mail today- a special Valentine's Day card, complete with a $1 dollar bill, from Grandma and Grandpa! Ireson opened his, grabbed the dollar and started yelling: "GOD! GOD! GOD!!!"
Translation: "I have money to take to church to put in the envelope in Sunday School class to give to God! Yahoo!"
James asked me: "Mom, after I give part of this to God, can I take the rest of it to buy something at the store?"
Teagan: "Sure you can James, just rip off God's piece and put it in Mommy's purse for church and then you can take the rest."


I went to load up the van for the evening's festivities and saw that the side "automatic" magic door was left open by the kids yesterday around noon! Needless to say the battery was dead beyond dead. I called James and gave him a heads up.

Devone (sister-in-law) planned a "Sweethearts" dinner for our church at one of our member's restaurant with babysitting provided at her house right around the corner! She's always so thoughtful and creative with planning things for our church. I'm so excited to get all dolled up, go on a date with James with my church family and laugh and hang out and do my hair, and have an alcoholic drink! Sounds immature - I know...but hey! For a girl that only consumes alcohol but once every few months or so-this can be a luxury! I'm talking about something fruity, colorful, high-calorie, with whip cream and a cherry on top...oh and don't forget those cute lil' umbrellas. I'll take those home as souvenirs for the kids. The alcohol is just an added perk. Honestly, after 2 sips- I'm toast. It's that almost 6 years of breastfeeding that have left me with no tolerance.

Normally, Valentine's is not a big deal to us. The reason being that we think that we don't need Hallmark dictating to us when to celebrate our love for each other or the excuse that people have felt "love deprived" all year and Valentine's Day needs to be the day to make up for it.
To James and I- every day is Valentine's Day. That sounds totally cheesy, I realize!!! Rather, we feel such wonderful, complete, blessed love in our marriage on a daily basis that Valentine's Day is just another day of the week. No big whoop. Don't get me wrong though...if the opportunity comes along to do something extra special around this time...then we're game!- I mean, bring on the excuses to have fun and laughter!

Nothing like a sister to encourage you...so I thought.

Sarah, the kids and I all went over to Darryl and Lydia's the other night for some puppy love and family time. Our entire family had received some stressing news that day, and we were all kind of down in the dumps and weary at all the world's workings and these end times that we are experiencing. I was casually discussing some personal stress and concerns about motherhood, work, church, etc. with my sister Sarah.

So Sarah, using her self acquired soft skills, - kindly offered her words of encouragement in a way that only Sarah can pull off:
"Ya know Beck, you are doing the only job that you are supposed to be doing right now and that's being a mother! Your kids are great, they're a joy to be around, everyone loves them and they're so impressed with them (blah, blah, blah)...and you're doing a great job!" Then she points over to Ireson (who is running around rampantly in a circle like a dog chasing his tale and acting like his usually nutty self-amusing self) and she says, "I mean, just look how smart he is!"

Yeah- he must get that from his father.

Permission to pee?

I decided to give all the kids a bath last night. James asked if he could take a bath by himself in my bathtub. This is a special treat for him to get sit and bathe in the "big tub" in deep water. We haven't made a habit of this since a jacuzzi tub takes a lot more water to fill up even if it's for just one teeny, tiny body in there! Usually, I just throw all the kids in their tub and get them in and out in a rotating fashion after they had some play time. He's getting old enough where he needs his own privacy as well. So, I obliged and figured I'd let him play and then do the other 2 kids after him.

Well about 2 minutes after his submersion I hear him yell: "Hey Mom, can I go ahead and pee in your bathtub?!" Gee- I appreciate the thoughtfulness of him actually asking since it's my tub and I forgot to remind him to "go" before he got in!

How do I respond to this?!

Honestly, every kid does this. Every adult has done this at some point or another too! I wasn't sure if I wanted deal with a wet floor and wet toilet seat or just let the kid pee and sit in it. I mean it's sterile, there's so much water that it will just be mostly diluted anyhow, right?!

Sorry for those of you with weak constitutions but...I told him to go ahead but he'll just have to sit in his own pee. To which he responded: "That's okay Mom. It will just make the water warmer anyway." Sheesh...gotta love the logic of kids.

Don't worry people, I drained the water before I put the other kids in...most of it anyway:)

When I grow up...

Today Teagan and I were having our typical and frequent discussion about who she is going to marry when she grows up. She absolutely knows that THE MOST important thing is that they are a "man of God and a child of God, etc."

She was explaining to me her newly elaborated idea of what this guy should be like..."Okay Mom. Listen. So I know that they have to love God and all that stuff. But I'm thinking that since Darryl is married to Lydia, he (as in her husband) has to be funny and act like a dog when I tell him and go to puppy jail!

And since Grandma is married to Grandpa he (future said husband) has to go to Jamaica a lot and be ornery but not scare me like he did my baby brother! AND since Daddy is married to you already and he can't marry me then he (the doesn't know what's going to hit him future husband!) has to be stinky and give me a beat-down. Okay? Don't you think those are good ideas?"

To the average person Teagan's future husband may sound like an abusive, taunting, scruffy guy with bad hygiene... but I think that sounds just swell.

Trick or Treat?

The kids had a great day doing school work Friday. They were enthusiastic, diligent, studious, and James really impressed me with his reading when he was concentrating. Since we were stuck at home all week with Ireson being sick for one day, and me waiting for the rest to get sick too...I was ready to get out and grocery shop! Exciting I know.

So, I decided that I would get the kids a super special treat. I'm talking an all out, nothing like mommy's normal definition of treat, sugar blitzing, blow the kids away, make you sick treat!

On the way to the store I told the kids my plan.
Response: "What kind of treat? A piece of cheese?" (A visit to the deli counter gets kids a free piece of cheese- highlight of the whole outing.) "No", I said, "bigger and better." "A cookie?" "No."

At this point they are at a loss for what I, me, the mother of all nutrition-nazi moms, would give them as a treat. Then I dropped the bomb! "What do you think about a doughnut?!" Insert shrieks, shrills, screams, and shouts of pure elation here- I mean the kind that make your ears hurt and you think someone is hurting them!

Then of course they revert to concerned questions to decipher my honesty on the matter. "Really? Why? Not cheese? Why would you give us a doughnut?"
I told them that I figured that it's close to Valentine's Day and that the store should have the decked out doughnuts and it would be fabulous!!!

So we went to the doughnut area (a place of the store they had never been around before so you can imagine their wide and googley eyes about to pop out of their heads) AND they all picked out their own special doughnut complete with 1000 calories, frosting, sprinkles, preservatives, sugar, processed ingredients, and intestinal distress waiting to happen!

So we got home, unloaded and they all lined up like the traditional, sweet deprived soldiers that they are, and got their doughnut on their plate. The flew over to the table and commenced with the gorging! I kid you not- Ireson had his entire full sized doughnut in his mouth in under 60 seconds. Hands and face caked with white frosting complete with pink and purple sprinkles. There was barely enough room for his jaw to move up and down so he could chew! What was even funnier was him trying to talk to share his gratitude and grins!

Teagan and James were close behind. You could hear all the yums, mmms, and ahhs, and ooohhhhs and expressions of complete and utter satisfaction. Then Teagan, stares me down with the most intent and earnest look and pauses from the gluttony to share this with me: "Mom, I just love this soooo much. I can't tell you how much I love this. It's better than cake with frosting with candy on top of it. It's just so good." You swore she was going to cry from such an intense level of fondness.

Then James pipes up with a rather full and vommitus tone to his voice. "MOM- I don't think this was a good idea! I have a really bad stomach ache. I don't think my stomach is used to this much sugar! YOU (as in me-mom) were NOT responsible."

HA! He was actually trying to make me feel guilty and irresponsible for giving him such a wonderful treat. I of course had to offer to eat it for him. A totally hypocritical moment for me:) I think I enjoyed it almost as much as they did....without the shrieking of course.

Whistle while you work...."whoo whoo whoo whoo" - when you're 2 ?????!!!!!

So we realized almost a year ago that Ireson could whistle. It seemed like a fluke thing because it would only occur once in a while. He couldn't do it on command, and it would happen when he'd be walking around just being goofy and making noises. Then, all of a sudden you'd hear a "whoo" -an authentic whistle! He has only done accidentally since.

James, on the other hand, had perfected whistling last month. He can mimic a tune, whistle a song, call for the dog, and whistle a happy tune at any ol' time. Ireson and Teagan are very proud and try their hardest to achieve that high pitched, little "whoo" that every kid so anticipates! So whenever James starts to whistle, Teagan and Ireson try to chime in. Teagan sounds more like she's singing a "hoo hoo."

Then it happened! The other day, I see Ireson toddling behind James in a parade-ish sort of way- whistling! It's just a little intermittent whistle- but it's still a genuine whistle! If you ask him- he can do it. It's kind of freaky seeing a 2 year old whistle. What's next - blowing bubble gum bubbles, snapping his fingers, tying his shoes? Stop the madness!
Here's a clip of him doing it...this one is faint but it's definitely there! He normally does it louder!

A Right of Passage

Well, in our church, there comes a time in every child's life where they cross the line from being in the Lamb's class (2 years old-preschool) to the Treasure's Class (kindergarten - 2nd grade.) James was privileged enough to graduate to the Treasure's Class this past September. He was more than ready to stop being the leading top dog of the preschool class to the under-dog (and shortest!) of the grade school class. He needed to be more challenged and to be with a more mature group. It's been good for him to be mentored by the older kids and for him to not have the answers all the time anymore. He enjoys the class immensely...though he tells me often that he really misses snack time. - Well yeah! I would too.

One of the early on goals for this class is to learn the books of the Bible. James has been so diligent in learning them. Every time we sit down to a meal together or get in the car he recites them. It's amazing how well kids' brains work to memorize!!! I was quite impressed with how quickly he learned them.

Today was the day he got to recite them ALL to his teacher and get his sticker and his fabulous homemade, giant-sized, personalized coloring book! He was the first one of all the new kids of the class to have learned them!!! AND- there's a chunk of kids who have been in the class for over a year who still haven't learned them all.

His teacher found me after church because she said she had to share the story with me and it made her day. She told me that he stood up, had a sparkle in his eye, a smirk on his face, and told her that "she was in for a treat." James knew that he only had to memorize up to the book of James but he asked me if he could just learn them all this week. So he was happy that he could share this surprise with his teacher. (The teacher's hand out little animal reminder card to the parents every week to let them know where their child is in the list of the books and the next chunk to memorize.) She looked at him with a huge smile and said "I know I didn't tell you that you had to do all of those. You're awesome!" She thought it was adorable. Her first little person to have accomplished that challenge.

I was so proud of him and he was proud of himself too. It's those small milestones that you cherish so deeply because you know that the same milestone will only happen once. AND you see your child growing up in the Lord and developing spiritual maturity and a passion for the Lord through such simple things as memorizing the books of the Bible. I love that my kids LOVE going to worship and that they feel like their church is their second home. I think that's the way it should be and that must be how the people of the Acts 2 church felt too.

SO- needless to say, this called for a celebration. We went with Grandma, Aunt Cindy, and Aunt Sarah out to dinner at Bob Evans for lunch!!! We had a gift card and 2 coupons for free kids meals and James proudly told the waitress and people in the waiting area that he had memorized all the books of the Bible. He is too cool! We all had a "special treat" indeed.

A fine example.

James: "MOM!!! Ireson won't stop chasing me and spanking my butt! It's not funny anymore!"

Me (chuckling): "Well, what do you expect James? He learned it by watching you!"

James (shocked and confused): "Nuh Uh! He learned it by watching Daddy do it to you!"

Gee....no argument there.

Dirty Girl

So when James and Teagan give each other a "beat down" (that means play wrestle in this house) it's not uncommon for the fun and games to escalate into an all out brawl at times. James has the strength, speed and agility, of a cheetah, equipped with animal sound effects and all. Teagan on the other hand is a strong little brute as well but when she gets tired of James pinning her down...well...she starts to play dirty.

Though some may find this to be unacceptable play wrestling terms-I completely understand where she's coming from!!! You feel you have no defenses left against their strength and tickeling and teasing. So then you're forced to pull out all the stops!! Personally, I'm not above hair pulling and eye gouging if necessary- just ask James. If this is warned or even occurs then my husband knows I'm serious and it's time to stop and to alleviate my frustration he should allow me a free jab of 2 to even up the score!

Anyway, today James and Tea were going at it giggles and all....I had a feeling where things were headed and I warned James that he better let up a bit before Teagan brings out "the ugly stick." So of course she got frustrated and pulled out the all powerful "scissor legs" maneuver. This is when she locks him between her scissored legs, either around his chest, belly, and sometimes neck. I taught her this after years of hard learned "legs on" lessons given to me by my own beloved father. James has dealt with this move for a couple years now. However, she has apparently perfected said death grip by adding an even more tortureful tactic....a TOOT!!!

"Listen James!!!..I'm gonna toot on you too if you don't stop it!"
...insert rip, roar, and all here....
"See, I told you...now get off me and leave me alone or I'll do it again!"

She sealed the deal alright. In some weird and twisted way I felt proud. I might have to try that one myself...be warned Babe.

In the city of sisterly love...

James (after ther second encounter with the corner of our fireplace yesterday): "I fear now I'll have 2 bumps on my head. It's unfortunate."
Mom: "Yeah, but it's a good thing that you're still so stinkin' cute."
James: "No I'm not! I'm handsome."

Precedence: I got all the kids' haircuts yesterday and Teagan kept saying how handsome the boys looked. I wonder if he'll continue to appreciate his sister's wise sentiment when he's older.

No thinking allowed!

James wanted to practice his typing and work on what he calls his ongoing "important document." So I set him up on the computer and I told him that this would be a good time to practice his spelling and typing out the words he knows by listening to each sound that makes the word. He replied, "No Mom. I just want to type, not think. Thinking is for when we do school."

Silly me...what ever was I thinking?! I hope this isn't a sign of an under-achiever.

Big Butt Mama!!

Teagan was folding her laundry and pulled out a pair of underware from the pile because she saw a glimpse of the pretty fabric and got excited. "Oooh Mommy, these are so pretty." Then her voice changed to a tone of disgust. "Wait a second!!! These aren't mine they're HUGE!" I of course had to tell her that those were indeed my underware and not hers. Thank goodness I have good self esteem- no thanks to my kids!

Selfless arguing...isn't that an oximoron?

We were all sitting down to our normal routine of reading a billion books late morning and Teagan and James started arguing about who would let who go first with their choice of book.
"No, no, Teagan, I'm going to be selfless and let you go first today." "Nuh-uh James, I'm going to let you go first because I love you." "But you're my younger sister and I love you more so you should go first." "But I think you're the biggest, bestest brother in the whole universe, so you can go first."....and so on and so forth. Someone (I forget who) even ended up quoting scripture about "the first being last and the last being first!" Sheesh.
Well this continued on for a few minutes and even became a heated argument! They were actually getting mad at each other for thinking of the other person first. This is not the first time it has happened either. However, Teagan finally caved and went first after James said, "Okay, Teagan listen. Here's the deal. I will let you go first because that is what a gentleman would do and that is what Daddy would do because he's a gentleman. Okay Teagan?"
Big sigh. "James, okay - I will go first if you just stop talking. Okay?"
James- "Okay. Mommy go."- as in start reading before any other arguments erupt!

For Pete's sake!

Beef! It's what's for dinner...even in the middle of a snow storm?!

So we have a cow in our freezer. More exactly, 1/3 of a whole, grass fed, hormone/antibiotic free, beefy cow in our freezer. We've bought anywhere from 1/3 to 1/2 for the past 4-5 years now and we love it and it's been- well...a blessing. The meat just can't be beat! I can totally understand the whole "sweet smelling savor to the Lord" thing!

So I guess you could say we're meat snobs because you just can't compare the quality of a fresh cow to what you'd get from the butcher even. So needless to say we grill all year long. You just can't beat a great steak in the middle of winter to curb the cabin fever! My neighbors even call me to ask if we're eating our cow because you can always smell when someone is grilling steak! So James is fine with braving the chill and the storms and the 2 feet of snow to grill himself a big ol' cow rump.

A few weeks ago, he came in from outside after laying out the meat on the grill, he was all giddy and goofy and asked for the camera. He just HAD to document his dinner preparation tactics and the joy he felt from having so an huge amount of meat grace his grill. I wish I could have gotten a pic of him standing in front of the grill all smiles- it was too cute. Any cow butcher would have been proud!

I need to feed...

Teagan woke up from her nap...marched into my room with a bewildered look on her face and said with a voice of absolute sinister consternation "MOMMY! Look at my belly! It's so small and so hungry you NEED to feed me. It said that."

I don't think she was totally awake because she doesn't usually talk to me like that and as soon as I told her that James was watching Pooh Bear- she snapped out of it, squeezed me and ran downstairs.

However, I can totally sympathize and totally relate. I love to eat! It's one of my favorite past times and I do a lot of it. I want a shirt that says, "I exercise to eat." I get seriously crabby when I need to feed! Unfortunate though that as adults we can't just cry out like a baby when we need to communicate that we're hungry....and now all his hungry business has made me hungry. I'm off to feed!

A Dreamy Sort of Poem

James was telling me he had a dream about picking blueberries last night.



Sung to a little diddy that he made up...

"Oh when you get married...don't do it in your underware...cause you'd look silly....and then you'd get blueberries on your underware, and then you'd be called a bluety butt."
Pause

"And that's all I've got so far Mom..."

Should I be concerned?

Ireson: "Jame! Jame! Help...scrape...me." - He needed his bowl scraped.
James: "Wow, good boy Ireson. You communicated very effectively there."
Me in my head gigglng to myself: "What the?! Sheesh...who's the communicator with your big ol' words."


Later that day...
James to Teagan: "You look like a nut!"
Teagan in disgust and yelling: "JAMES!!! You don't insult me...that's not nice you big dootie dah."
Me in my head: "What the heck have my children been reading?! The encyclopedia, grandpa's big book of insults? Come now people..honestly."

Tales of Tarzan
Upon watching the animated Tarzan with the kids...Ireson jumps up out of his seat, beats his belly and imitates Tarzan's call! His pitch and "aaaaaa's" were all over the place and it sounded a bit like he was going through puberty or something. Why the wacky 2 year old is the instigator of all things funny and nutty is beyond me! James and Teagan and I looked at each other and just lost it! Then of course they had to chime in. I guess it just fits with the whole animal safari theme.

Animal Obsession

Laura Mott to James: "So can you tell me some nocturnal animals? Do you know what nocturnal means?"

James' surprised response: "Of course I know what that means...but first do you want me to tell you about some diurnal animals?"

Lesson to be learned: Never underestimate the intelligence of an animal obsessed 5 year old.